Every marriage has ups and downs. Arguments happen. Sometimes, things feel so bleak that you can’t see a way out. So, if you tell yourself “I want to save my marriage,” you have to take active steps to make it happen.
Emotionally focused therapy (EFT) is a great way to reconcile with your spouse. Because it’s a short-term therapy, you can get to the root of your relationship problems and work on building a closer bond with each other.
Although EFT is short-term, its effects are lasting. Developing a closer attachment to your spouse and learning to let go of the anger, fear, or whatever else may be plaguing your relationship can make it easier to reconcile and have a stronger relationship for years to come.
If your relationship is falling apart, it’s time to stop saying “I want to save my marriage,” and start the reconciliation process.
How EFT Helps in Different Situations
“I want to save my marriage, but I’ve done too much…”
“I want to save my marriage, but the pain is too deep…”
Maybe you think you can’t reconcile your relationship because of a specific event or situation—infidelity, lying, deceit, etc. Something like a traumatic event can also cause incredible rifts in marriages. It’s easy to think that you’ve done too much (or they have) or the pain is too deep for you and your spouse to find the silver lining.
But, EFT is designed to help in these situations. If you’re dealing with a loss of trust or a sense of betrayal, emotionally focused therapy will help you to take a better look at those emotions. Additionally, it can help you discover more emotions and feelings you may have been hiding or ignoring.
As a result, you can personally process things from a healthier place. Then, you can start sharing those emotions and feelings with your spouse from a place of honesty.
This doesn’t mean it will be easy or that it won’t be hurtful for your spouse to hear (and vice versa). But, it’s the first step in a healing process. And, despite how difficult it may be, having new conversations with your spouse based on your true feelings can provide you with the reassurance that it’s okay to continue to do that in the future.
Embrace the Long-Term Effects of EFT
EFT is designed to focus on the here and now. Yet, the things you learn in the process will be with you and your spouse forever.
It focuses on the present by helping you and your spouse to see what is really happening in your relationship. Sometimes, couples aren’t even able to tell what the problem really is until they take a step back.
Many times, it has to do with insecurities within the relationship, and an emotional distance from your spouse.
Problems within marriages are often cyclical. Going through EFT helps to break those negative cycles so you can focus on better communication and attachment. As a result, you learn to become more open with your spouse, and more responsive to them.
In EFT, not only will you learn to recognize your negative patterns, but you’ll be able to work on productive, positive conversations you can carry with you into the future of your relationship.
Please contact me if you’re saying, “I want to save my marriage!” I would like to help. Or visit here [insert specialty page link] to learn more.
If you’re in the East Bay area, let’s schedule an appointment so that you and your spouse can take the first steps together to reconcile your relationship.