There are a few stereotypical topics that cause problems in relationships. Finances are often at the top of the list. Fighting over money isn’t uncommon, but it doesn’t have to be a spot of contention in your relationship.
For starters, think about why you and your partner are fighting over money in the first place.
Maybe you’re a saver and they’re a spender. Maybe you want to set a budget and they’ve never worried about it.
Once you get to the bottom of your money issues, you can start to work on healthier ways to communicate about your finances. Let’s look at some tips you can put into practice to keep “money talk” from turning into a problem.
Figure Out Why it Isn’t Working
One of the best things you can do if you’re fighting over money is to sit down and talk about it. What isn’t working? Is it too hard for you to stick to a budget? Do you even like the budget you initially agreed to?
Money can be a touchy subject for some people, so you might be tempted to avoid talking about it altogether. But, if you have a problem with the way your money is being handled in a relationship, it’s so important to speak up. If your partner doesn’t think there’s a problem, they won’t change their ways.
Encourage them to talk to you about their financial expectations and desires, too. It shouldn’t just be a one-time conversation, but an ongoing topic to make sure you’re always on the same page when it comes to your finances.
Set Financial Goals
Setting financial goals together is often a good compromise when one partner doesn’t see the need to save money. Instead of arguing about how much money to put away, set goals for yourself as a couple, instead.
You could set a goal to buy a house in five years. Or, you could set a goal to buy a new car in less than a year. These are just a few examples.
When you have achievements to reach, saving money can become something fun you both do individually and as a couple. When you’re finally able to reap the rewards, it’s often easier to make saving money a regular habit for your future.
Don’t Make Large Purchases Alone
Whether you know you have enough money in the bank for a large purchase, or you have a plan to pay something off over time, don’t buy something expensive without talking to your partner first.
It doesn’t matter how much money you have. A large purchase can come as a shock to someone who wasn’t expecting it. Whether it’s a car, a big-screen TV, or a vacation, these types of things need to be discussed as a couple.
When they aren’t discussed, you might find yourself not only fighting over money but fighting about a lack of communication and trust. It’s easy to feel betrayed in a relationship when one person seems to go behind the other’s back to make a large purchase.
Again, money is frequently a sensitive topic. Spending it without consulting your partner can stir up a lot of negative emotions.
How to Stop the Financial Fights
Money may always be a hot topic in relationships, but it doesn’t have to lead to poor communication or distrust. It will only have as much power over your relationship as you allow it to have.
Are you and your partner constantly fighting over money? If you’re in the Oakland, CA area, feel free to contact me for help. Together, we can work on different strategies you can use as a couple to keep your finances from causing a rift in your relationship. Please, visit here [insert specialty page link] to learn more.