Self-esteem plays a big part in relationships. This includes friendships, relationships with your family, and especially romantic relationships.
But can self-esteem impact your relationship? Absolutely.
Having low self-esteem can affect your relationship in a negative way. It can make it hard for you and your partner to really connect.
On the other hand, too much self-esteem can come across as arrogant, and may also cause problems in your relationship.
More often than not, though, it’s a lack of self-esteem that has the greatest negative effect between partners.
With that in mind, let’s take a closer look at how self-esteem impacts your relationship.
Low Self-Esteem and Relationship Problems
If you’re already in a relationship and you have low self-esteem, it can affect how close you and your partner feel in a variety of ways.
Influences Communication in Several Ways
First, low self-esteem may make it harder for you to relate to your partner and to communicate effectively. You might not speak up when you really have something to say. That can make the relationship feel one-sided and can make you feel even worse about yourself.
Your body language might also have a negative impact on how you’re viewed in your relationship. If you’re having a conversation with your partner and your body language seems closed off or defensive because of your low self-esteem, they might feel as though you don’t want to talk to them, or even be around them.
Motivates Your Partner’s Response to You
Your own mannerisms when you have low self-esteem can cause your partner to respond in a few different ways. Either they might think there’s a problem in the relationship or simply stop trying to communicate with you. In extremely negative scenarios, they might try to take advantage of your low self-esteem by “controlling” the relationship.
None of these options are healthy. They can even cause your self-esteem to become worse. As a result, you can start to feel more like a victim. Which, in turn, will cause you to blame others for your low self-esteem, instead of getting to the original root of the problem.
How to Improve Your Self-Esteem and Strengthen Your Relationship
Now that we’ve established that self-esteem impacts your relationship, what can you do to improve it?
One of the best things you can do is to try to figure out where the low self-esteem started. Have you always felt this way? If you can identify some underlying causes or triggers, it can be easier to shift your focus there and work on those areas.
It’s also a good idea to focus on the things you do like about yourself. What are you good at? What are your strengths? Having a better understanding of what makes you important and a unique person can help you rebuild your esteem.
Don’t be afraid to get your partner involved. Yes, it can be hard to admit that you struggle with low self-esteem. But chances are, they already know something is “off,” and they’ll be more than happy to help you boost your confidence. Communicating openly with them about how you feel will make a big difference.
Again, does self-esteem impact your relationship? Yes. But, that doesn’t mean you can’t take active steps to change it and make your relationship stronger than ever.
When you feel like you can’t deal with the effects of low self-esteem on your own, seek out professional help and guidance.
If you live in Oakland, CA and you’re struggling with self-esteem issues, feel free to contact me.
Together, we can work to discover why you have low-self esteem. Then, I can help you with some resources to build it back up, which can help to improve your relationship over time.