Everyone has different ways of doing things. No two people are alike, no matter how compatible you are. That means, when you have kids, it’s not uncommon to have different parenting styles.
Having different parenting styles doesn’t mean being unable to work together to raise your children.
It’s about compromise, and ultimately doing what’s best for your kids. But not everything will always go smoothly.
However, there are things you can do to get through the clash of different parenting styles. By deciding to work with your partner instead of against them, you can communicate more freely, and your kids will be the ones who benefit.
Keep Communication Open
The best thing you can do to work through different parenting styles is to talk about it. Not just once, but consistently, and especially as your kids get older.
It’s always a good idea to talk about your parenting styles with your partner before you even have children. But, not every couple does that, and it’s okay. It doesn’t mean you can’t come to some resolution after your child is born.
One great way to open up a dialogue about your parenting styles is to talk about how you were raised. Discuss what you would have done differently, what you thought were good parenting practices and what you’d like to change as you raise your kids.
More often than not, just talking about it can help you to find some common ground, even in a few different areas.
Be Specific with Rules
Even when you have different parenting styles, you can create very specific rules.
Vague “house rules” can often lead to more problems. For example, if your house rule is something like “be nice, or you’ll be grounded,” there is a lot of gray area there. You might have a different definition of “nice” than your partner. Work together to create specific rules, write them down, and make sure everyone in your family knows.
When the rules are specific, there’s less of a chance that you’ll both have different interpretations of them.
The way you think about rules and discipline might change over the years, especially as your kids get older. The same goes for your partner, too.
It’s also important to understand that your child’s personality will change over the years. As a result, you may need to adjust your parenting styles. There is no concrete way to do things. Even with the best of intentions, rules need to be amended over time.
That’s why flexibility is important as you parent, discipline, and guide your children. Take the time to re-assess your parenting styles as your child grows, and as you get older. You might find that as things change, your styles are more in align with each other than ever before.
Navigate the Clash Successfully
Navigating different parenting styles isn’t always easy. But, it’s not a deal-breaker and it doesn’t have to harm your relationship. If you’re willing to work on compromising your parenting styles or at least respecting those of your partner, your relationship can end up even stronger than before.
You and your partner are on the same team. You both want what’s best for your children. Having different ways of getting there isn’t uncommon. It’s essential to figure out a way to get you on the same page and help your family even more.
If you’re in the Oakland, CA area and you’re struggling with different parenting styles that clash, feel free to contact me or visit my page on [specialty link].
We can work through the way you communicate these styles, and what you can do to reach a compromise in almost any situation.