Even though many of us associate summer with vacation and relaxation, it can often be the busiest time of year. Between planning trips, organizing events for kids, working, and managing longer daylight hours, it can be hard to maintain intimacy in your relationship.

But, keeping the “spark” alive and staying intimate with your spouse doesn’t have to be impossible during the summer.

Keep these tips in mind to maintain intimacy and stay connected while you have some fun in the sun.

1. Make Intimacy a Priority

One of the biggest reasons couples don’t maintain intimacy is because they don’t push its importance. Yes, summer can get busy quickly.

So, schedule in some dates on your calendar. Have a date night with your spouse, or take a walk along the beach at sunset (or around your neighborhood.

Talking to each other each night can make a difference in how close you feel.

If you don’t make intimacy a priority, it will start to crumble when your schedule fills up.

2. Stay in the Present Moment

When you do get a chance to spend some time alone with your spouse, be there mentally and emotionally. Focus on each other and the time you’re spending together. Avoid things like looking at your phone, watching television, etc.

You might not get much time together when your schedules are packed, so make every moment fully count.

3. Find Meaning in Small Gestures

You don’t always have to create a big event or spectacle in order for intimacy to thrive. When you don’t have a lot of time to spare, small gestures can mean a lot to your partner.

Something as simple as remembering to take out the trash, or bringing them a cup of coffee every morning can let your spouse know you’re thinking about them. Also, it communicates to them that you’re invested in your relationship.

These are great, subtle ways to maintain intimacy that shouldn’t be taken for granted.

4. Show Gratitude

Showing appreciation for your spouse can make you both feel closer. Plus, it doesn’t have to take a lot of time! You can show gratitude for the things they do with a simple “thank you,” of course.

But you can take your intimacy one step further by setting aside time each week to share what you love about each other and what you’re grateful for in your relationship. Even if you only dedicate five minutes of time to do this, it can deepen your connection.

Everyone wants to feel appreciated for the things they do and who they are. Sharing your appreciations with your spouse is a great way to maintain intimacy no matter how busy you are.

5. Be an Active Listener

If your summer schedule is busy, you might not get a chance to have a decent conversation with your spouse until you’re getting ready for bed each night. Or, maybe you have a chance in the morning over coffee.

No matter when you can get a conversation in, it’s important to be an active listener. Your spouse might be going through something hard. They might feel tired, stressed, worried, etc. Don’t try to fix their problems. In fact, that can create more stress.

Instead, listen to what they have to say and let them know that you’re there for them. You might be surprised how effective a dedicated, listening ear can be when it comes to feeling close to someone.

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Intimacy doesn’t have to fade away in the summer, even if you’re busy. If you’re looking for more ways to stay connected to your spouse and you’re in the Berkeley, CA area, feel free to give me a call! Together, we can work on more exercises to maintain intimacy all year long.

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