Plenty of old, funny stereotypes circulate about in-laws and how they can throw a wrench in your marriage. Though invasive in-laws don’t always seem comical. Without a doubt, they can sometimes create severe marital issues.
No one wants to upset their spouse by speaking poorly about their parents or siblings. If your spouse is especially close to their family, it can feel like a touchy subject to bring up the fact that they might be creating problems.
But, it’s essential to discuss invasive in-laws, and decide on a plan of action. Your marriage needs to take priority over the feelings of your in-laws. It’s not always easy, but there are ways to make things better for everyone.
Talk to Your Spouse
Before you decide on anything else, you need to have a chat with your spouse about your invasive in-laws. It might seem uncomfortable, but getting on the same page about how to handle things is crucial.
Remember that you don’t have to attack your in-laws in this conversation. Express your concerns and decide how you can handle them together, as a couple.
Once you’re ready to deal with these issues as a united front, one of the best things you can do is to set boundaries for your in-laws.
Make sure they know you love them and appreciate your time together, and yet, you need them to take a step back. Or, you need to work through certain things on your own, as a couple.
They may respond with hurt feelings, which can make the conversation even harder. But, it’s important to remain firm in your decisions.
Make Time for Your Marriage
If you feel like your in-laws are continually coming over, offering their opinions, or taking your spouse’s time, don’t be afraid to ask for a bit more attention.
Talk to your spouse about setting aside time strictly for each other. Even a once-a-week date night can help to ease some of the tension caused by invasive in-laws, making their behaviors the rest of the week less grating.
Stick Up for Your Spouse
Sometimes, invasive in-laws can create problems because of how they treat you or your spouse. Remember, your marriage is an essential factor here. If your parents are treating your spouse poorly, you have to stick up for the person you married.
You should also expect your spouse to be an advocate for you, too.
It’s not easy to go against what your parents might think or say, but it’s the only way to keep your marriage healthy. Furthermore, it sends a clear message to your in-laws that nothing is going to change your relationship with your spouse.
Find the Positive
Keep in mind that many invasive in-laws act from a place of love. Parents aren’t perfect, and they may not realize their invasiveness is causing issues within your marriage. The same goes for siblings.
While you don’t need to put up with all of it, try not to automatically get angry or upset with your in-laws if you know they’re coming from a good place.
You can still set boundaries and let them know how you truly feel. Approaching them with patience and understanding, however, will less likely hurt their feelings. As a result, they will more readily take what you have to say to heart. That way, you can make positive changes to help everyone involved.
If you live in the Oakland, CA area, and you’re unsure of how to handle your invasive in-laws, feel free to contact me for more information and more helpful solutions. Or, visit my [specialty page link] page for more details.