No relationship is perfect. Relationship problems are more common than most people think. Thankfully, many times, those problems are repairable.
Sometimes, though, relationship problems take too much of a toll on the entire structure of a partnership. Simply put, some things just can’t be fixed.
That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t put effort into fixing your relationship problems. But, it’s good to know when some things can’t be put back together, so you can move on.
So, what are some relationship problems you can’t always fix?
You Have More Contempt Than Love
Contempt is a significant problem in relationships. If you’re “automatically” angry at your partner, or even disgusted by them, it creates discord between you and breaks down any kind of connection you might have.
Without connection, there’s less communication. Without communication, a relationship doesn’t work. Think about how you feel when you look at your partner or how you feel when you have a conversation with them.
If contempt is the first thing that comes to mind, it’ll likely keep wearing down your relationship until nothing is left.
Cheating Is a Problem
Infidelity isn’t an automatic dealbreaker for everyone. Many relationships survive it and even end up stronger.
But, if chronic cheating is going on in your relationship, it’s broken. If you or your partner continuously seeks out attention from another person—physically or emotionally, it’s because you’re not getting your needs met in your relationship.
There Is Too Much Secrecy
It’s okay to have alone time in your relationship. It can even be a good thing. It’s also okay to have privacy. But, there’s a definite line between privacy and keeping secrets.
Secrecy, in a relationship, is never a good thing. If you don’t know where your partner is spending their time, or if they’re purposefully hiding stuff from you, it’s easy for your trust to dwindle. You might even start to feel alone or neglected.
You Feel Pushed Away
We all have different needs and different attachment styles. If you’re with someone who has a different attachment style than you, it doesn’t have to mean the end of your relationship.
But, if you need attention and intimacy and your partner refuses to give them to you, that can eat away at your self-esteem and self-worth. You deserve to have your basic needs met (and so do they). If those needs can’t mesh with one another, it’s going to be hard to stay close to one another.
You Can’t Be Vulnerable
Relationships thrive on intimacy. To have intimacy, both people must show some level of vulnerability. That takes proper communication. As stated above, if your relationship doesn’t have adequate communication, it’s not going to be easy to make it work.
You should be able to open up to your partner without the fear of feeling judged. Conversely, they should be able to do the same with you.
If you think your feelings are getting pushed aside or neglected and your partner isn’t listening to what you have to say, it’s a massive problem. Plus, if you’ve asked them to change and they haven’t, they probably aren’t going to.
There’s Still Hope
All of these relationship problems might sound harsh, but don’t let them bring you down. Even with this particularly bleak news, there’s still hope. If both partners are willing to put in the effort, there’s always a chance of mending.
If you’re struggling in your relationship and you’re in the San Francisco Bay area, feel free to contact me to learn more or to set up an appointment. Visit my page on [insert specialty link] to learn more.
Some relationships are fixable, and I can help you get to the bottom of the issues in yours.