“We are hurt in relationship and we heal in relationship” Dr. Diane Poole Heller
Relationships can be so triggering, right? Although this can be distressing for couples, I believe that friction in our relationships is actually a feature that offers a golden opportunity to deepen our understanding of some of those hurt places inside ourselves that show up loud, but maybe not always clear, with our partners. Sometimes, we notice that aspects of this hurt have been reverberating through other facets of our lives, maybe long before this current relationship, perhaps even in our family of origin. When our hurts collide with our partner’s hurts, it can create a negative cycle of relating that we can get pretty stuck in. The good news is that having our partner witness and support us as we explore our hurts and accompanying needs in therapy, while we do the same for them, can strengthen compassion, trust, and the loving bond in the relationship. In this way, we see how our relationships can be our greatest tool for healing.
I am passionate about helping couples engage with the healing power of their relationship. My style is warm and validating. We begin wherever you are, at the pace that allows you to build trust in our process together and feel safe enough to take steps towards exploration of what’s really at play and driving the negative cycle between you.
I draw from attachment theory, somatic and polyvagal theories, psychosynthesis partswork, and behavioral modalities such as DBT. My couples work follows an Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) approach which is evidence-based and is shown to be highly effective for the vast majority of couples who participate. My clients are diverse in terms of culture and race, sexual and gender expression, relationship models (monogamy and consensual non-monogamy), and life stages. I particularly love working with pregnant couples and have trained as a holistic birth doula. I have experience working with acute and developmental trauma, grief and loss, neurodiversity such as ADHD and Asperger’s, as well as substance abuse and other addictive behaviors.
Outside of the therapy room, I get outside as much as possible with my husband and two young children. I also prioritize time for hiking and exploring on my own. It is my goal every day to deepen my trust and delight in the mystery of life.
Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy Training
2013 – 2020
MA Counseling Psychology from The Institute for Transpersonal Psychology at Sofia University
2013 – Present
Psychosynthesis Training and Consultation Group
2019 – 2021
Dialectical Behavior Therapy Training and DBT Skills Group Co-Leadership
Hakomi Essential Skills and Extended Training with David Fish
Holistic Birth Doula Training with The Matrona
Working with Families in the Continuum of Care Using Evidence Informed Principles – Fred Finch Youth and Family Services
40-hr Domestic Violence Training – St. Vincent De Paul Riley Center